"Christians, Christians... not to worry... not to worry... the war is going well -- we're doing an excellent job! The infidels are on the run. Just keep doing what you're doing, the way you're doing it."
"Those loud noises you're hearing in our U.S. cities are not explosions of crime, injustice, filled jails, aborted children, racism, hatred, divorce, fatherlessness, declining education, addictions of all kinds, adultery, joblessness, egotism, Enronism, pornography, consumeristic church, segregated churches, prayerlessness... nor millions falling off into hell daily."
"I tell you... not to worry... not to worry... Those loud noises are only the sounds of our outgoing mortars of 'personal choice', tolerance, syncretism, corporate success, cultural pride, denominational pride & favorite worship style... just to name a few of our WMD. Keep the faith. No changes. Continue to march. Our asynchronous strategy will win the day."
"So long for now. Thank you for hiring me -- I needed just such a job. I will try to please you with all my reports, so stay tuned for future encouragements."
Minister of Information
II Corinthians 2:11